Band Name: Stranger Inside

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/strangerinsideband

Reviewer: Keef

Review:

OK – In all honesty, I’m not even going to bother wasting anyone’s time with a long arsed review of this band, because the time that you spend reading my ramblings can be put to FAR better use by just going to their homepage and listening to them yourselves! Here’s the review in brief – F**king great!!

GO – NOW!! Do as you’re told!!

If anyone is still stupid enough to be hanging around, I’ll quantify my thoughts a little. Think Alice in Chains, think Nickleback, think Lost Prophets – think harmonious grunge rock that’s been painstakingly crafted, is almost perfectly formed and is JUST the right length so that you can get onto the next one.

I really am struggling to find fault with anything, and quite why this band are unsigned is a mystery to me. If I HAD to be picky, I’d say the pitching on the odd vocal line could perhaps be slightly better – but it is really only the odd bum note in what is otherwise a flawless bunch of recordings!!

Guys – if I could afford the plain ticket, I’d come to a gig in a heartbeat!

Put me down for a copy of an album and tickets for the first UK tour!

Keef

Band Name: My Heroine.

Myspace: www.myspace.com/myheroinemusic

Reviewer: Keef

My Heroine

Review:

There’s no doubt that this is a group of good looking girls, but ugly people can make good records too………..

So – what about the music?

The songs on the website are only excerpts – so hopefully they’ve chosen them wisely, as that’s what the review is based on.

‘Mad’ starts nicely enough, but I can’t help feeling that it doesn’t go anywhere in the chorus, such are the lack of dynamics in the song – shame – with some thought it could have been a nice song. (Don’t you love the word ‘nice’? Only used here to spite my primary school teachers who didn’t even believe it was a proper word!)

‘Let it Go’ has ’studio track’ written all over it! It sounds like a bunch of one line vocals cut and pasted over a backing track. Maybe I’m being harsh, but I’d imagine the ‘cut down’ version that the band would have to perform live would have been a better effort to record than this overly complex version of what is quite a simple tune. Less is more guys – live vocals have far more feel than trying to get every line pitch perfect!

‘Infatuation’ GET IN!! Finally the engineer realises where the bass sliders are and/or decides to mic up the bass amp! This has got far more body to it, and the chorus finally shows the vocals off. I’m still not loving the feeling that some of the vocals have been dubbed a line at a time, as it really detracts from any sort of ‘live’ feel – but overall, this is a vast improvement!

‘Bitch’ - couple of bits of wayward pitching – which is odd considering the care that is obviously given to the vocal recording otherwise – but it’s still a decent enough track that has the potential to really rock in the chorus – I can imagine that this would be a great track live.

‘Fever’ - an old classic with a pretty reasonable twist. The production is far better on this track – so I’m guessing that this is/was the track designed to grab commercial interest. I’m still not crazy about all the overlaid vocals, but if it can be reproduced on stage, then consider me a fan!

Overall – think Strawberry Switchblade and you won’t be far off the mark.
It’s hardly original, but I’ve heard far worse from far uglier people……

I’d certainly like to go and see these live, as I reckon the studio perhaps isn’t doing them justice……

Keef

Band Name: Venxia

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/Venxia

Reviewer: The Gekko

Review:

Yo Peeps,

OK – so I was sticking my feet to the keyboard while peeling off skin & eating it (it’s OK, Gekko’s do this, completely natural, don’t weird out on me) when I happened upon this great website!

It had naked chicks on it & everything!

Anyway – then after that, I pressed the wrong button & ended up on myspace, at the page of this unsigned band called Venxia.

I dunno how to pronounce it – but then again I’m a Gekko, I can’t talk anyway so who cares.

So, I thought how difficult can this reviewing stuff be? Those numb nuts who think they run this site can do it, so can I!

So here we go:

Slightly rippled, with a flat underside.

Oh – no, sorry, that’s me!

So, this band, what are they like?

Well there are 5 of them so I guess that makes them a 5 piece – and they go RAAAAAAA a lot, which I guess means they’re metal, hardcore, progressive, whatever weird names exist to describe a style of music.

There are guitars, I can defo make that out – drums, yep they’re there, bass, and singing / screaming.

Hey, is the bassist a chick?  If not, sorry dude….

Aidan, screaming guy, on your myspace pic – did you wet your pants? It’s ok, we all do it sometimes. Well, I don’t – I don’t wear any.

Drummer, Pete,  DUDE , you don’t look the part, get with the program – get yourself tatooed from head to toe, grow your hair, get rid of those NHS specs, and try to look more METAL – ya look like buddy holly dude!

OK, I have no idea about music, I’m a Gekko – but I did get quite excited while listening to these tracks, I actually got a bit carried away, jumping around, stuck myself smack into the monitor, took me a while to peel myself off.

Venxia, if you want a “proper” review from a human (dunno why you would, cos I think my reviews are WAY better, but hey) request a review

Peace out