Band Name: Venxia

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/Venxia

Reviewer: The Gekko

Review:

Yo Peeps,

OK – so I was sticking my feet to the keyboard while peeling off skin & eating it (it’s OK, Gekko’s do this, completely natural, don’t weird out on me) when I happened upon this great website!

It had naked chicks on it & everything!

Anyway – then after that, I pressed the wrong button & ended up on myspace, at the page of this unsigned band called Venxia.

I dunno how to pronounce it – but then again I’m a Gekko, I can’t talk anyway so who cares.

So, I thought how difficult can this reviewing stuff be? Those numb nuts who think they run this site can do it, so can I!

So here we go:

Slightly rippled, with a flat underside.

Oh – no, sorry, that’s me!

So, this band, what are they like?

Well there are 5 of them so I guess that makes them a 5 piece – and they go RAAAAAAA a lot, which I guess means they’re metal, hardcore, progressive, whatever weird names exist to describe a style of music.

There are guitars, I can defo make that out – drums, yep they’re there, bass, and singing / screaming.

Hey, is the bassist a chick?  If not, sorry dude….

Aidan, screaming guy, on your myspace pic – did you wet your pants? It’s ok, we all do it sometimes. Well, I don’t – I don’t wear any.

Drummer, Pete,  DUDE , you don’t look the part, get with the program – get yourself tatooed from head to toe, grow your hair, get rid of those NHS specs, and try to look more METAL – ya look like buddy holly dude!

OK, I have no idea about music, I’m a Gekko – but I did get quite excited while listening to these tracks, I actually got a bit carried away, jumping around, stuck myself smack into the monitor, took me a while to peel myself off.

Venxia, if you want a “proper” review from a human (dunno why you would, cos I think my reviews are WAY better, but hey) request a review

Peace out